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Lump in Asshole

Discussion in 'All Things Horror' started by mikeconley11, Dec 9, 2017.

  1. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Addict Pic Mod

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    So I wake up this morning, lo and behold there's a small lump in my bum crack. So I start touching it and it really stings, there's a little dead skin on the lump and I pull that off and then it stung even more and it bled a little. Now it hurts to sit down, I tried taking a pic to show you guys but it's covered by asshole hair and you can't get a good look at it.

    I don't want to go to an ass doctor, can someone say what's wrong with me? I looked online and all I'm getting is cancer stuff and stds which I think are highly improbable since I'm only 19 and don't do no butt stuff.
     
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  2. sharkbait.

    sharkbait. Professional Pic Mod

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    Its possible cancer I'd go get tested. Come on man up and go to an ass Doctor lmao
     
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  3. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Addict Pic Mod

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    Ugh, he's not going to go inside my asshole is he? Cause it's on the outside, do cancer lumps even happen on the outside? I don't want to be fingered lol
     
  4. MarkFL

    MarkFL La Villa Strangiato Staff Member Mod Squad

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    When's the last time you hit that crack with some soap and water?
     
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  5. sharkbait.

    sharkbait. Professional Pic Mod

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    Why not I've heard that it feels good getting your prostate massaged :lol:

    Just go and they won't do anything you're not comfortable with. They may examine you but I doubt theyre gonna want to fingerbang your butt...
     
  6. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Addict Pic Mod

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    Well I don't know, sometimes I guess. I put E45 cream on it today
     
  7. twatgangsta

    twatgangsta Member

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    sounds like butt cancer to me

    rip
     
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  8. Karlijn

    Karlijn Guest

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    Don't fear the finger. You'll only have to worry if you feel the finger, and both the doctor's hands on your shoulder.
     
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  9. mcpon14

    mcpon14 Addict

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    Just take a scissor and cut the lump off. :)
     
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  10. MarkFL

    MarkFL La Villa Strangiato Staff Member Mod Squad

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    Yes, this is always the best advice for strange and/or unwanted growths. :gjob:
     
  11. mcpon14

    mcpon14 Addict

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    That's what ugly people do for heads, anyways, so it might work for other unwanted growths. :)
     
  12. Wrecky

    Wrecky Valkyrie Staff Member Mod Squad

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    You're a complete savage :rofl:

    @mikeconley11 please go to see a doctor!
     
  13. mcpon14

    mcpon14 Addict

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    As Bernice from South Beach Tow once said, "Hospitals are for rich people." :)
     
  14. Wrecky

    Wrecky Valkyrie Staff Member Mod Squad

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    But free clinics are for everyone! Wait, @mikeconley11 does England have free clinics? Idk how it works over there
     
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  15. sharkbait.

    sharkbait. Professional Pic Mod

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    Only in the states, where the rich dont care about anyone but themselves.
     
  16. mcpon14

    mcpon14 Addict

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    ^ People such as Martin Shkreli definitely would be an example of that, lol. :) The guy who made a certain very important pill skyrocket from 13 dollars to almost 800 dollars per pill, lol. :)
     
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  17. sharkbait.

    sharkbait. Professional Pic Mod

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    Yeah, and now karma is kicking his ass. Idiots like that should always be kept far away from power and responsibility.
     
  18. Karlijn

    Karlijn Guest

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    I have that sentence from a Stephen King book
     
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  19. .:Batman:.

    .:Batman:. Addict

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    [​IMG]
     
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  20. Wrecky

    Wrecky Valkyrie Staff Member Mod Squad

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    Which one?
     

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