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Post Your Life Story

Discussion in 'Adults Only' started by mikeconley11, Jan 8, 2018.

  1. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Addict Pic Mod

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    It all began at the day of my birth, where both my parents failed to show up. The nurse took me home to meet my parents for the first time, upon seeing me my mother shrieked and began to look for a replacement son. Unfortunately, she was barren at this point and had to adopt a frog who she named "Only Son".

    We grew up together, we were best friends. We would do everything together and I do mean everything. Despite our relationship, I was incredibly jealous and envious of Only Son. He would get better grades, he was more popular and our parents loved him more.

    My mother wanted to abort me when I was 12, but my father persuaded her not to instead pointing to my inherent value. That value was eating their shit. Whenever my parents wanted to shit, they would place me on my back while I was on the ground. They would pull down their pants, squat and shit in my mouth. When they were done, I would then proceed to lick their assholes until the shit was gone. They did this to save money on toilet paper.

    I'm now an adult, looking to change the laws and stigma on frog/human relationships and marry Only Son. I still eat their shit.

    So, how about you guys?
     
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  2. skrinkle

    skrinkle Cat Mom Staff Member Mod Squad

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    I don’t think my story can top that
     
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  3. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Addict Pic Mod

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    Just do it!
     
  4. skrinkle

    skrinkle Cat Mom Staff Member Mod Squad

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    Born, dropped out of school in grade 7 and didn’t leave my house again until I was 15 and forced into treatment at a hospital for 8 months n then I ran around the city and did a bunch of drugs and then I stopped leaving my house again. :shifty:
     
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  5. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Addict Pic Mod

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    Them drugs did you good :)
     
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  6. mcpon14

    mcpon14 Addict

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    I was born and have been waiting to die ever since. :sleep:
     
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  7. Wrecky

    Wrecky Valkyrie Staff Member Mod Squad

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    I'm a blank page :) No stories here
     
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  8. .:Batman:.

    .:Batman:. Addict

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    My parents were Dr. Thomas and Martha Wayne, we live in Gotham city. I am the only born child and enjoyed the lay life growing up with billionaires for parents. Until one night we were out on the town my mom an dad were brutally murdered right in front of my eyes. The only person left in my life to take care of me was my old ass English butler Alfred.
    Alfred took good care of me teaching me to defend myself in school and how to be a man. I wanted VENGEANCE on the guys who killed my parents, the more I delved into the detective work I began to realize the crime the ran constant through Gotham and vowed to be the hero This city needs.
     
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  9. tool

    tool Member

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    I was born somewhere among the mountains of Lāo into an indigenous Hmoob family whose ancestors escaped centuries of Chinese expansionism. When I was six, a group of rebel-bandits abducted and sold me to one of the sweatshops in Saigon. A year later I escaped the bondage and lived on the street for another two years until I met Thuy the sister of a local triad. She was about my age and took pity on me so I fell for her kindness and beauty instantly.

    Thuy
    brought me under the wing of her brother and I began to do menial jobs for the triad. She prohibited me from ever joining her brother's gang because she planned for us to live a honest live once we are married.

    It was a blissful chapter of my life but it can only last for so long. Soon after, the Vietcong's advance towards Saigon was becoming a real threat. Everyone was scrambling for an escape path but not her and her brother. He told me that he rather die in his homeland than to run away like a coward. I was poised to die along with him but both he and his sister rebuked me. "You're a foreigner among us", he said, "your destiny is somewhere else". Thuy nodded, she intend to die along with him.

    Despite my bravado, Thuy knew I'm scared to death. "If I run, that means I'm a coward!", I protested. "But cowards lives on", she replied gently. She took off her silver necklace and put it into the wavering palm of my hands. "Go, don't look back", she murmured to my ear, "Live on and remember us".

    As the sound of gun fires were drawing nearer, my cowardice took the better of me. I turned around, running and crying along the way, never looking back at the love I left behind. I ran for three days and three nights until I reach the great Mekong. In the midst of the night, I stole a wooden raft and made my way across to Kampuchea where I hid myself among the Muslims of Kampong Cham.
     
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  10. MarkFL

    MarkFL La Villa Strangiato Staff Member Mod Squad

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    Taurus, born in 1775...I'm like 300 and something, but I'm still alive. I used to hang with the original Billy the Kid...You prob'ly think I'm only playing but, I did. My daddies were a two headed freak show, Momma, a fortune teller, Esmarelda Zella. Anyway they had sex on a ouiji board And I was born the next day...When I was 14, I tripped on the train track and I was crushed right there on the steel rack I'm out cold, they thought it had f*cked me up. I got up and itched my butt, I'm like, "what?" Everybody tripped and called me the clown devil boy. Child of the witch heffer...whatever. Tied me up, burned me and threw stones. Had a few scrapes and cuts, smokey nuts. After that they started bowing and shit...Praying at me, you know how them primitives get. I said, "Get off my dick, I ain't a savior!"

    So anyway...50 years pass, all my homies are old ass f*cks. I ain't even got hair on my nuts. I left the village in search of my ends. I wrestled alligators, battled terminators...Nothing ever killed me, nothing could harm me. I fought in the Civil War, Yankees army...I walked across enemy lines with a...lantern...Steady taking cannon balls, to the balls. The war ended, I traveled the country horseback, until this fool tried to horsejack. He put his gat to my head and blew my face up...[Powww] It didn't even smear the make-up. I took his gun and put a divot in his neck. Sheriff didn't like it...I got indicted.

    87 long years in the state pen...Until they finally forgot why they put me in. They had to let me go you know they had nothing. On the way out they're like, "Yo, ain't you like 100 and something?" I said, "That's right, and I ain't gonna die 'TILL I GET MY SHIT, MOTHERF*CKER!"

    I slept under bridges, lived in the valleys. I climbed the mountains, searched the alleys. More years passed, and I still ain't died...now I'm in Detroit on the Southwest Side. My homie has an Impala, blue '67...last night we hit the road pushing 111. I stuck my head out the window, told him floor up the most, and let my nugget ping off a light post. Ha ha ha! Hell yeah, 'cuz! Hurts a little bit, but then you get a straight buzz. The world hates me 'cuz of shit like this. They always try to kill me but MIIIIIISSSS! I know it's odd that my face is forever painted. When I was born, the bitch-ass doctor fainted. My tongue's a little long, I choke people with it...Looks kinda nasty...but chicks dig it. And I told ya my neck can stretch for miles...I look like something from 'The X-Files.' People wanna see me die more than a little bit.
     
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