Digging into the past

Feels like a burden.
I cracked my old passwords.
Myspace, nexopia, photobucket.
I am slapped in the face by memories.
Bad memories.
Good memories.
Tragic memories.
Know what i know now as an adult i feel helpless.
How i wish i could change what happened.
I wish i could save myself from all the pain.
Hurt.
Deceit.
Broken hearts.
But i cant.
I can only read on.
Return mentally to 16 or 17 years old.
I blocked all of this from my mind.
But its coming back.
I want to stop digging.
But i cant.
Im addicted.