my demons: poem : written by Dani Suzanne

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DBS

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the high has me under under it's demand
there in my mind taking me under their spell
feeling high like birds in the sky
loving how it feels how my past it steals
as its powers are like a magic wand
has me blind and under it's well
Sun's rising with us high on clouds as thoughts fly
stuck in it's grasp as from reality my mind peals

love the high hate the come down
my demons are the best of my dreams
feeling love and hate 4 my addictions
floating in the sky high;sky high & mind blown
nightmares come alive through silent screams
fading out of once dreams winking my way with subduction


it's my up my feel so right till morning light
crashing from my high is like coming unglued
leaves me feeling down and under
like I'm out of control and falling, cashing from my clouds
body quaking & shaking falling from my sunlight
the high fading bleeding out ; pieces of the mind feeling glued
stuck on the ground not high in the sky feeling the bodies thunder
hearing demons calling me back to it's crossroads...


promises breaking and the past pains getting taken away
as I feel the high hit me once again
taking all my past emotions & shutting down their intrusions
feeling up on cloud 9 high in the sky under the starlight
mind blown as the demons ;my monsters come out to play
I feel the sky falling as feelings soon will rain
poisoned from my choice in potions & awaiting for solutions
going under new reign the addictions I'll fight

written by Dani Suzanne Corke









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Comments

    1. SHEKIEH Jun 24, 2017
    2. Trullz May 2, 2017
      Okay so, you'll never see me not trolling the forums. BUT I don't **** with art. So, that being said:

      Whenever you ask for, or accept, or some jackass like myself takes it upon himself to offer, a perspective, ALWAYS (I repeat: ALWAYS), take what you can. Do away with what you will, you are the mind of creation.


      Now to the offering of my perspective.

      I didnt' feel a flow. That doesn't mean you intended a flow. It means, upon my first reading, I didn't see a fluid flow throughout. Pieces here and there, but nothing concrete. I would suggest you find the emotion you intend to convey before constructing the verse. In this way, you can manipulate the reader to find the same emotions.

      That being said, the subject matter was obviously chaotic. So in this, and coupled with my perspective above, whether you noticed consciously or otherwise, you sort of hit the nail on the head, and that in itself is both beautiful and poetic.

      However, something you ought to keep in mind, is that chaos is often equated with disorder. Disorder with a lack of practice, and the practice ethic with discipline. Again, I see the subject matter describes that lack of discipline, and it is what I connected with in my reading it. Nonetheless, keep what I said in mind. The old adage of the pen being mightier than the sword, wasn't just about resolving differences with words instead of aggression. ;)

      ...think about it

      Your newest fan,
      Trullz