Discussion in 'Relationship Advice' started by skrinkle, Feb 6, 2018.
How’d that go?
I do, and no idea haha
Probably never say anything because she’s legitimately amazing and I’m just happy I have a friend like that. Pretty sure I wouldn’t have a chance in hell with her anyways
It's happened a few times over the years. Twice they freaked out and got super awkward about it and it ruined the friendship. Another time I expressed that I liked the girl and wanted to go out and she took the approach of just laughing it off and pretending I was joking (even though I clearly wasn't) to avoid having to address it at all. That made it so things got pretty awkward too and eventually ruined that friendship as well. Never had any luck with that.
I would never be friends with someone I legit like. I know if I like someone or not, and that never changes for me over time. It's definitely a pride thing. I could never do that to myself.
This sounds like you're blaming the other people for ruining the friendships
Maybe you ruined it by expressing your interest?
That's what I was thinking. C'mon @handbanane, it's like you don't want friends.
I don't see why that should ruin the entire friendship. Besides, if I like someone I'm still going to try even if it's a friend because to me it's worth the risk because I value a relationship above all else. That being said, if they're not interested why can't people just leave it at that and continue being friends if they want to?
It's their choice to respond the way they did to it. I have no responsibility for someone else's behavior.
I've been offended when friends express a sexual/romantic interest in me. I gave them the option of letting it go and remaining friends but each time they told me they would either persist or just never give up on the flame. Both were grounds for dismissal
One of the reasons I don't have a lot of guy friends is because I'm suspicious they have ulterior motives
I understand why you'd cut them off if they wouldn't take no for an answer and were persistent about it but I don't get why you'd be offended by them expressing interest in the first place. That makes no sense to me.
What you described first is how it should be. If it was a no but the girl wanted to still be friends and let it go then it's fine. I mean I wouldn't be friends with them if I didn't value having them in my life. The only reason I'd bail after that is if I just couldn't get over the feelings.
Because I've never been single. So it's offensive to me to have people I trust as friends undermine my relationship by telling me they want me.
Like f*ck off with that, you think I'd leave my bf for your dumb ass get real
That's kind of an important bit of context there that you've never been single during any of this. All of the situations I described were ones where we were both single and I happened to fall for a friend. If you start pursuing a girl who's in a relationship it's no longer romantic.. then you're just being an (attempted) homewrecking piece of shit.
Even if I had been single I think it's slimy to gain someone's trust as a friend and then turn around and hit on them later
Especially if you're good friends and they know your likes/dislikes to manipulate the situation in their favour.
Some guys legitimately seem to think that's what being "friends first" means and it's pretty slimy.
This is why I don't hide my intentions if I want to date a girl. If I'm intending to hit on her, I don't tend to wait very long. I'm kind of an obvious/terrible flirt too so the girl is going to know what's up pretty quick.
This is all I ask of people. If you have any interest let it be known right away (so I can avoid you) Don't just quietly stand in line waiting to strike when you see an opening.
What if they aren’t attracted to you at first but then it developes after you’re already friends? I’ve been friends with people who weren’t my type, and then ended up liking them like that because of our friendship lol
A couple times. Never have said anything. Both out of respect, and because I'm too scared to even ask anyway.
You're like the opposite of @handbanane, you two should try swapping techniques like that show supersize vs superskinny.
Doing nothing doesn't help matters either but at least it avoids awkwardness if you're certain the answer would be no.
And I agree with skrinkle. Sometimes it just develops over a long period of time. If I'm single, it can happen where just by being around a girl enough that familiarity can lead to attraction (assuming I find her physically appealing).
I kissed her on the neck and she ran away. Then she came to my house around a few weeks later and wanted to try making out. We smooched on the lips, she didn't like it and then she left.
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