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I fell asleep eating dinner and this happened

Discussion in 'Food Forum' started by mikeconley11, Jan 28, 2018.

  1. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    Flip it! Otherwise my legs will be on the stain
     
  2. SAKARINBO

    SAKARINBO Fartist

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    Are mattresses the same on both sides? I thought most aren’t. Mine is but that’s because it technically a futon
     
  3. MarkFL

    MarkFL Guest

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    Yeah, you should do that periodically anyway. :)

    But, it's dirty from sleeping on with without bed clothes, and you need to clean that thing. :)
     
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  4. MarkFL

    MarkFL Guest

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    Mine's not...I can't flip mine, but I rotate it periodically.
     
  5. .:Batman:.

    .:Batman:. Guest

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    You should get an air mattress that way you can just wipe it off you dirty wanker!
     
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  6. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    The mattress was already here when I moved in though, I don't think I'm allowed to replace it
     
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  7. MarkFL

    MarkFL Guest

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    Then clean that fetid factory of funk...:)
     
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  8. .:Batman:.

    .:Batman:. Guest

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    This situation just keeps going doesn’t it! Should I even ask if you disinfected it before you took over?
     
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  9. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    The previous tenant was a girl, girls are clean
     
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  10. MarkFL

    MarkFL Guest

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    Girls aren't cats...they're humans, and humans are one of the dirtiest animals in the jungle. :(
     
  11. SAKARINBO

    SAKARINBO Fartist

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    Oh dear lord :puke:
     
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  12. .:Batman:.

    .:Batman:. Guest

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    Thank goodness crisis averted phew close call
     
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  13. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    I don't see the problem! I've been living here for like 6 months now and I haven't got ill except that one time I got the flu and shat myself
     
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  14. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    Recently, I've gotten some eczema symptoms though. Like flaky skin. You think that's related?
     
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  15. MarkFL

    MarkFL Guest

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    Your flatmate has been jacking off on you when you sleep...that's just dried semen flaking off...no worries. :)
     
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  16. .:Batman:.

    .:Batman:. Guest

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    Flaky skin is going to be the least of your worries :rofl:
     
  17. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    Update: Friend tells me I have something orange in my hair. It's the tikka masala sauce. I went to the shower and there was dried sauce on my chest that I didn't notice lol
     
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  18. sharkbait.

    sharkbait. Guest

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    ITT: @mikeconley11 needs a mother to clean up after him but has none
     
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  19. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    Mother? Where do you think I inherited my untidiness from?

    True story here, no bullshit. My mum owns a poop chair. Because she's too lazy to go upstairs to the bathroom, so she has a seat that she sits on and there's a bucket underneath the chair. And no points for guessing who got called down to empty her poop chair when it was full.
     
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  20. .:Batman:.

    .:Batman:. Guest

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    You’re such a good boy to do that for her. :hammer: She must be so proud.
     
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