Post Your Life Story

Discussion in 'Adults Only' started by mikeconley11, Jan 8, 2018.

  1. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    It all began at the day of my birth, where both my parents failed to show up. The nurse took me home to meet my parents for the first time, upon seeing me my mother shrieked and began to look for a replacement son. Unfortunately, she was barren at this point and had to adopt a frog who she named "Only Son".

    We grew up together, we were best friends. We would do everything together and I do mean everything. Despite our relationship, I was incredibly jealous and envious of Only Son. He would get better grades, he was more popular and our parents loved him more.

    My mother wanted to abort me when I was 12, but my father persuaded her not to instead pointing to my inherent value. That value was eating their shit. Whenever my parents wanted to shit, they would place me on my back while I was on the ground. They would pull down their pants, squat and shit in my mouth. When they were done, I would then proceed to lick their assholes until the shit was gone. They did this to save money on toilet paper.

    I'm now an adult, looking to change the laws and stigma on frog/human relationships and marry Only Son. I still eat their shit.

    So, how about you guys?
     
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  2. skrinkle

    skrinkle Cat Mom

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    I don’t think my story can top that
     
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  3. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    Just do it!
     
  4. skrinkle

    skrinkle Cat Mom

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    Born, dropped out of school in grade 7 and didn’t leave my house again until I was 15 and forced into treatment at a hospital for 8 months n then I ran around the city and did a bunch of drugs and then I stopped leaving my house again. :shifty:
     
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  5. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    Them drugs did you good :)
     
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  6. mcpon14

    mcpon14 Guest

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    I was born and have been waiting to die ever since. :sleep:
     
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  7. Wrecky

    Wrecky Valkyrie

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    I'm a blank page :) No stories here
     
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  8. .:Batman:.

    .:Batman:. Guest

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    My parents were Dr. Thomas and Martha Wayne, we live in Gotham city. I am the only born child and enjoyed the lay life growing up with billionaires for parents. Until one night we were out on the town my mom an dad were brutally murdered right in front of my eyes. The only person left in my life to take care of me was my old ass English butler Alfred.
    Alfred took good care of me teaching me to defend myself in school and how to be a man. I wanted VENGEANCE on the guys who killed my parents, the more I delved into the detective work I began to realize the crime the ran constant through Gotham and vowed to be the hero This city needs.
     
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  9. tool

    tool Addict

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    I was born somewhere among the mountains of Lāo into an indigenous Hmoob family whose ancestors escaped centuries of Chinese expansionism. When I was six, a group of rebel-bandits abducted and sold me to one of the sweatshops in Saigon. A year later I escaped the bondage and lived on the street for another two years until I met Thuy the sister of a local triad. She was about my age and took pity on me so I fell for her kindness and beauty instantly.

    Thuy
    brought me under the wing of her brother and I began to do menial jobs for the triad. She prohibited me from ever joining her brother's gang because she planned for us to live a honest live once we are married.

    It was a blissful chapter of my life but it can only last for so long. Soon after, the Vietcong's advance towards Saigon was becoming a real threat. Everyone was scrambling for an escape path but not her and her brother. He told me that he rather die in his homeland than to run away like a coward. I was poised to die along with him but both he and his sister rebuked me. "You're a foreigner among us", he said, "your destiny is somewhere else". Thuy nodded, she intend to die along with him.

    Despite my bravado, Thuy knew I'm scared to death. "If I run, that means I'm a coward!", I protested. "But cowards lives on", she replied gently. She took off her silver necklace and put it into the wavering palm of my hands. "Go, don't look back", she murmured to my ear, "Live on and remember us".

    As the sound of gun fires were drawing nearer, my cowardice took the better of me. I turned around, running and crying along the way, never looking back at the love I left behind. I ran for three days and three nights until I reach the great Mekong. In the midst of the night, I stole a wooden raft and made my way across to Kampuchea where I hid myself among the Muslims of Kampong Cham.
     
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  10. MarkFL

    MarkFL Guest

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    Taurus, born in 1775...I'm like 300 and something, but I'm still alive. I used to hang with the original Billy the Kid...You prob'ly think I'm only playing but, I did. My daddies were a two headed freak show, Momma, a fortune teller, Esmarelda Zella. Anyway they had sex on a ouiji board And I was born the next day...When I was 14, I tripped on the train track and I was crushed right there on the steel rack I'm out cold, they thought it had f*cked me up. I got up and itched my butt, I'm like, "what?" Everybody tripped and called me the clown devil boy. Child of the witch heffer...whatever. Tied me up, burned me and threw stones. Had a few scrapes and cuts, smokey nuts. After that they started bowing and shit...Praying at me, you know how them primitives get. I said, "Get off my dick, I ain't a savior!"

    So anyway...50 years pass, all my homies are old ass f*cks. I ain't even got hair on my nuts. I left the village in search of my ends. I wrestled alligators, battled terminators...Nothing ever killed me, nothing could harm me. I fought in the Civil War, Yankees army...I walked across enemy lines with a...lantern...Steady taking cannon balls, to the balls. The war ended, I traveled the country horseback, until this fool tried to horsejack. He put his gat to my head and blew my face up...[Powww] It didn't even smear the make-up. I took his gun and put a divot in his neck. Sheriff didn't like it...I got indicted.

    87 long years in the state pen...Until they finally forgot why they put me in. They had to let me go you know they had nothing. On the way out they're like, "Yo, ain't you like 100 and something?" I said, "That's right, and I ain't gonna die 'TILL I GET MY SHIT, MOTHERF*CKER!"

    I slept under bridges, lived in the valleys. I climbed the mountains, searched the alleys. More years passed, and I still ain't died...now I'm in Detroit on the Southwest Side. My homie has an Impala, blue '67...last night we hit the road pushing 111. I stuck my head out the window, told him floor up the most, and let my nugget ping off a light post. Ha ha ha! Hell yeah, 'cuz! Hurts a little bit, but then you get a straight buzz. The world hates me 'cuz of shit like this. They always try to kill me but MIIIIIISSSS! I know it's odd that my face is forever painted. When I was born, the bitch-ass doctor fainted. My tongue's a little long, I choke people with it...Looks kinda nasty...but chicks dig it. And I told ya my neck can stretch for miles...I look like something from 'The X-Files.' People wanna see me die more than a little bit.
     
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  11. Shonna

    Shonna Member

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    Born.
    Taken by CPS at 6 months due to drugs and neglect/medical neglect.
    Foster care until I was 3.

    Adopted and first open heart surgery at 4 yrs.

    Childhood.

    Second open heart surgery at 10.
    Travelled from Canada to Italy to perform with a choir at 15.
    Graduated highschool at 17. Engaged at 18. Breast reduction at 18.
    Graduated college with a law and justice majormand emergrncy management minor at 19.
    Had an abortion at 19.
    Married at 20.
    Started PSW college program at 20.
    Graduated PSW program at 21.
    Bought a house at 21.
    Had a kid at 23.
    Bought 2nd house at 24.
    Had my first full blown manic episode at 25. Had an affair, ended my marriage. Moved out and turned to escorting on top of my day job because I liked the easy money.

    Met my boyfriend at 25/26 He got me the help I needed. Got on and off antipsychotics. Got pregnant again, had another abortion because was off meds at that point so my moods were off the wall and the meds are incompatible with pregnancy anyway.

    Finally got on meds properly and stayed on them.
    Strong armed my ex into giving me full custody with 3x per year visits in exchange for signing over our house.
    Moved 9 hours north to a cheap area, got a job i like enough to stick with and a better quality of life for myself, boyfriend and daughter when I was 26.

    Bought my current house by myself at 27.

    That's about it. I'm now 28.
    Same job. Same house. New car. Same boyfriend. Looking into switching meds so I can have one last pregnancy, planned before I get fixed. Have plans to travel the world and do adrenaline rushing things one day.
     
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  12. Woofer

    Woofer soul jer

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    i was young

    and here i am
     
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  13. Squire72

    Squire72 Moberator

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    Born June 23, 1972 at Our Lady of Grace hospital in Calgary. Moved to Drumheller at 3, I remember going to an ice cream shop by a bridge, and they thought I was a cute kid and fed me lots of ice cream, my mom found me an was mad I left the house without asking. They wouldn’t take her money for my ice cream.

    Moved to Saskatoon a year later, I got kicked out of bible school for convincing a bunch of kids god wasn’t real, and cussing out the pastor or whatever he was for lying to children. My mom was embarrassed and ticked off that her “me” time was ruined because they didn’t want me back (go figure). Stayed in Saskatoon until I was 12, when we moved to Red Deer, and became a nerd. Good grades, well behaved... my dad was a prison warden and treated the house very prisonlike. When I was 14 he went to hawaii with his whore of a girlfriend to get married. I stayed with friends of theirs, but stole the spare house key.

    Went out with friends one night and went to my first house party. My friend handed me a 26 of rye, and not knowing what it was I chugged the whole bottle. The sensation was terrifying and invigorating and very warm. Then I went in the living room and smoked some hash with the cool kids from my class. Apparently they were impressed, because I wasn’t a nerd at school anymore, I was the “nerd-banger” and everyone was nice after that. Got back to the place I was staying on time, ripped, feigned tired, went to bed, waited for them to go to bed, snuck out and went home, took my dad’s car back to the party (first time driver, government car). It was pretty much over, so I drove a friend home, returned the car and went back to the family friends house and actually went to sleep.

    Moved to calgary that summer to live with my mother, mostly a blur

    Went to college for radio, that was awesome

    Been doing graphic design, web development and IT work ever since

    Married once (traded her for a really nice bike)

    Engaged once after that

    Moved to Vancouver for 7 years, I miss it there.

    Found out one of my friends was going through some medical crap, invited her to live with me for free so she could have a stable place while she looked for medical help. She just used my place as a base to find and **** dirty hipsters, ignored her health, and after she repeatedly ignored my requests to stop bringing them to my house or actually try to get medical help kicked her out. A year would probably have been long enough had she tried or cared.

    Dated a lady for almost a year, she got hooked on meth and left me for someone who happened to be a meth dealer. Dumb bitch thought she could dump me and keep living in my house, but no. Changed the locks, she called me names. I complimented her new facial scabs and twitchy behaviour

    Oh. Have MS, had symptoms since I was a kid, but I heal ridiculously fast, so it didn’t get bad enough to diagnose until I was 40
     
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  14. mikeconley11

    mikeconley11 Guest

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    You're the new MarkFL, for sure
     
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  15. skrinkle

    skrinkle Cat Mom

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    I love this lmao
     
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  16. Squire72

    Squire72 Moberator

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    it sounds more amusing than it was haha
     
  17. Whiskybethyname

    Whiskybethyname Lollygagger

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    In third grade, I cheated on my history exam. In fourth grade, I stole my uncle Max's toupee and I glued it on my face when I was Moses in my Hebrew School play. In fifth grade, I knocked my sister Edie down the stairs and I blamed it on the dog... when my mom sent me to the summer camp for fat kids and then they served lunch I got nuts and I pigged out and they kicked me out!
    but the worst thing I ever done: I mixed up all this fake puke at home and then I went to this movie theater, hid the puke in my jacket, climbed up to the balcony and then, t-t-then, I made a noise like this: hua-hua-hua-huaaaaaaa - and then I dumped it over the side, all over the people in the audience. And then, this was horrible, all the people started getting sick and throwing up all over each other. And I never felt so bad in my entire life!
     
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  18. Woofer

    Woofer soul jer

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    [​IMG]
     
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  19. Wrecky

    Wrecky Valkyrie

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  20. mcpon14

    mcpon14 Guest

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