So I'm becoming very confused about what I'm doing wrong here

Discussion in 'Relationship Advice' started by handbanane, Feb 8, 2018.

  1. Wrecky

    Wrecky Valkyrie

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    Yeah I don't think you should ever settle again, it's pointless and neither person will ever be happy in a relationship like that. Meeting people seems to get harder and harder as you get older. Especially if you work with a small group for a long time with not a lot of change and don't have a huge social circle. If I were single I wouldn't even know where to start looking :confused: but it's not impossible. I think you just need to go out with friends more, go to parties, go do fun stuff like go bowling or basically anything that makes you get out with people.
     
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  2. 867k

    867k Guest

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    I don't know if this will apply to you, but I'll let you in on a newly found technique I stumbled upon for picking up women.

    While I was in Calgary besides going to a wedding I also spent time with my grandmother. And I shit you not, women were falling over us.
    Maybe because my Nana is an awesome wingman, maybe because I wasn't wearing my wedding ring, I don't know.
    But take your grandmother on an outing!
    Taking her to a cat cafe was the best idea I've ever had.

    Or sign up as a companion for old folks, take them out for coffee, to the mall, zoo, whatever. You're bound to meet women along the way.
     
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  3. handbanane

    handbanane Guest

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    Lmao so be charitable with an ulterior motive. That wouldn't be a bad idea if I wanted to volunteer though. Someone already suggested earlier when I asked about finding part time work that I should be a companion for older women but I think they were talking about something else entirely.

    Gotta lure in the ladies with food, cute animals, and looking compassionate I guess. :imslow:
     
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  4. handbanane

    handbanane Guest

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    Also, I totally would spend time with my grandma(s) but neither of them live on this side of the country so it's a rarity when that happens.
     
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  5. Tori-Bori**

    Tori-Bori** Arabella

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    A tip of advice: girls like a chase. Don't be too into her from the beginning. You gotta let her think about you.
    Not to the point where it's annoying and she feels un-liked but the chase is important.
    Gotta play "the game" as @bluntarilla and I like to call it.
    Some people get turned off easily or give up easily.
     
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  6. Tori-Bori**

    Tori-Bori** Arabella

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    Plenty of fish you will find your fish!! onto the next.
    :fish:
     
  7. Tori-Bori**

    Tori-Bori** Arabella

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    Also even tho you make @Wrecky :err: it may make some other girl go :love:

    Always be yourself.
     
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  8. handbanane

    handbanane Guest

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    I try not to but I'm usually terrible at hiding what I'm feeling. It shows on my face, in my way of speaking, body language, etc. It's probably pretty easy for girls to tell if whether I'm really into them at the start or if I find them boring and annoying. Oops. Gotta learn how to play it cool more I guess.

    And I've been on and off with POF and other dating sites for years tbh. I've had occasional little successes but nothing really substantial and definitely a lot of bad, fucked up experiences.
     
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  9. handbanane

    handbanane Guest

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    She said that in the beginning but I've definitely gotten far more :love:s than :err:s from her at this point haha.
     
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  10. Tori-Bori**

    Tori-Bori** Arabella

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    well of course. lol
    was just an analogy.
     
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  11. Squire72

    Squire72 Moberator

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    I think most dating sites girls get so utterly overwhelmed with messages that they tend to assume that guys are just looking to get laid, and just pick the prettiest least offensive guys to talk to when possible. Decent guys looking for serious relationships don’t get taken very seriously unless they fit in the right box because of that.
     
  12. handbanane

    handbanane Guest

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    Yeah and that makes it very difficult for people like me. It becomes very shallow so you really don't get anywhere very often unless you're a super good looking guy. The scales in terms of numbers and level of interest are definitely tipped in favor of the women in those situations. That's why I'm trying new approaches and suggestions from you guys. Like last night I tried just going to the bar solo as a couple people had suggested.
     
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  13. Wrecky

    Wrecky Valkyrie

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    :love: :love: :love:
    @handbanane if you don't find love in the next year you could always try e-harmony :) My uncle found his partner on there and they are an excellent match because it's a serious dating site. But I think that's a last resort after you've literally tried everything else.
     
  14. Squire72

    Squire72 Moberator

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    I’m in the same boat, dating sites aren’t ideal because I get almost no response. I don’t think I’m legitimately ugly, but I’m also not a Greek god type. I’m more the sweet guy you settle down with, not that one night of bliss you can brag to friends about

    Or at least, I don’t look like it. And on dating sites that’s where the responses come from
     
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  15. handbanane

    handbanane Guest

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    This is going to sound incredibly sad but I went on there once and spent about an hour doing their whole detailed survey and it came back and told me that I had zero matches in the entire province. I was like wtf.. is this thing broken? Then I felt kinda sad.

    I'v grown and changed a lot since then though so maybe my slightly different answers will get results if I try again some time.
     
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  16. handbanane

    handbanane Guest

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    It drives me crazy because I've gotten laid that way numerous times (and don't get me wrong, it's fun) but that's definitely not my goal. It just sort of happened that way.
     
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  17. bluntarilla

    bluntarilla baddie

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    ... in my experience only when I stop looking for something do I find it.
    :devil:
     
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  18. Squire72

    Squire72 Moberator

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    I’ve straight up given up haha

    Maybe something good is coming :imslow:
     
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  19. handbanane

    handbanane Guest

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    I'm kinda trying to do that now by not being on the dating sites. Then again, I've had periods of months where I wasn't actively searching and had no prospects whatsoever in those times.

    Tbh ideally I wish a girl (assuming she's cute, nice, and affectionate, etc.) would just aggressively pursue me and take the lead so it's pretty much a sure thing with no games or doubts. That might be me dreaming a bit there but there's nothing in the world that's more attractive to me than a girl who takes the lead.
     
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  20. Squire72

    Squire72 Moberator

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    I should just post an ad on Craigslist, free room and board for new girlfriend, send applications to my throwaway email

    Sadly I don’t think the responses to that would be all that helpful :rofl:
     
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