So I'm becoming very confused about what I'm doing wrong here

This thread turned into a pretty in depth discussion of male grooming.

 

And what's the problem with that? Guys need to know how to style and groom themselves.

 

Have you tried speed dating? I wonder if that's still a thing haha

 

Is that like Netflix and Chill? Balls deep before the opening credits start?

 

Nope. Tbh I chickened out. They held a Valentine's Day speed dating event a few years ago when I was still in school and I backed out because at the time I was too afraid to be one of those guys who gets all no's or to just freeze and not be able to think of anything to say within the minute or however long you get. I let fear get the better of me on that one.

 

you cant take no's as a bad thing!!
the more people you meet the more you see and learn to what you like.
the more chances to find the one
what doesn't work out isnt meant to be.. you will find ms.handbanane

 

I probably shouldn't let it affect me as much as I do. I find rejection (or even the possibility of it) kills my whole mood and drops my confidence significantly (whereas successes build it up). I thought I'd be used to the idea of rejection by this point in my life but it never really stings any less. Just gotta accept that and roll with it anyways I suppose.

I just never want to have to settle again. It's awful.

 

Ms. Handbanane

 

@handbanane Expectations play a big part in how you feel about rejection. If you were to go speed dating with zero expectations, (like not expecting to meet someone to date and also not expecting to put yourself out there to be rejected, just to have 10 short conversations with random people that don't matter at all) you might actually have fun.
I've never gone speed dating, but a casual attitude is imo a pretty attractive thing. Neither super interested nor disinterested.. just aloof and chill.

 

That's probably the hardest thing there is to do but I'm willing to try my best. I think it just doesn't make that much sense to me because in a woman, that would be the most unattractive trait she could display ("aloofness" or being too cool and not showing her interest actively). I think it's something I have to be really conscious of in my own behavior because I'm attracted to the exact opposite where I'm excited by a woman who's very forward and actively pursues me in a way that leaves little doubt as to her intentions.

 

Some women will like that but I think someone up thread mentioned not coming off too excited can work to your advantage. Like if it's too obvious you want to bone them or wife them or whatever, I can see how that might be a turn off for some. I think it's always a good idea to keep your cards close to your chest when first meeting someone. If you really want a someone to pursue you, make them make the first move and go from there.

 

Yeah I'll have to figure out how to do that for sure (get them to pursue and make the first move). Tbh I just hate dating with a passion and wish I could skip over the initial casual phase entirely but sadly it doesn't work that way. It's basically torture for me if that wasn't obvious enough already lol.

 

Trust me on this, man. Consistently say her name wrong. Then she'll take notice of you and it makes you look like you're not trying too hard.

 

How did you end up with your french girl with the fat ass?

 

Don't be rude, her name's Marie.

We're flatmates, I asked if she wanted to go to a theme park with me since I read that roller-coasters get girls horny.

 

Lmao. Well if it works, it works.

 

Everything is easier at uni though, you should go back to uni and have questionable sex with loads of 18 year olds.

 

I managed to spend 4 years in university and never date a single girl or get laid by a single girl there the entire time. I was still getting laid off the internet even then lol.

Also, 18 year olds are exactly my idea of good relationship material. Just sayin.

 

So I got a good sensitive skin gel and good aftershave and have been keeping it clean shaven every day. So far so good. It looks good and isn't leaving me covered in cuts and bumps anymore. Thx @ace_of_spades

 

You're welcome! I'm glad it's working out for you!