Went to Starbucks today

I was so confused. Why is their menu A) Really fucking expensive B) Consisting of fancy shit that only hippies would buy? A "pumpkin cappuccino" was the most normal thing on their menu.

Anyway, I just needed a place to go on my laptop and submit an essay. So I ordered free tap water and sat down. Then 10 minutes later, a worker comes up to me and says I need to order something before using their wifi. Like, bitch do you not see my free tap water?

So, I caved and just decided to buy something that costs money. I don't want none of their fancy expensive shit, so I order a singular cookie and tea.

Cookie as in this shit, because I know you stupid North Americans changed the definition of cookie for some reason and won't understand.

Anyway, they tell me it's £6. For a fucking cookie and tea. They bring out a cookie in a fancy plate, then ask me what kind of milk I want in my tea. I was like, "cow milk please" and they tell me that they meant if I want semi-skinned milked of full fat. So I say, "HMM I'M TRYING TO WATCH MY FIGURE. I THINK I'LL HAVE SEMI-SKINNED BECAUSE THAT WILL MAKE SO MUCH FUCKING DIFFERENCE YOU FUCKING PLEBS". Then they kicked me out of store. C'mon Starbucks, up your game.

 

Sounds like a typical day at Starbucks
And btw you're the weirdo, cookies have always been cookies.. you call them biscuits

 

£6 though, that's straight-up murder.

Do you consider this to be a cookie? That's so strange to me

 

Up your game sir and order something worth the money. Like 4 shots of espresso and a cake pop the pink kind.

 

Do Canadian and British Starbucks have 50 cent refills? I usually just go find a coffee cup or an ice coffee cup on a table that's left behind or one in the trash can, go inside and buy a refill.

 

Don't tell me you like Starbucks, you traitor!

I don't think so. Man, I need to try ice coffee/ice tea. Never tried it before.

 

I don’t like Starbucks. I just enjoy it.

 

Ugh, you're dead to me.

I'm looking at their online menu. Green tea cream frappuccino, cold brew with dairy-alternative almond etc. How do you know what to order? There's nothing normal on the menu.

 

why didn't you go costa, starbucks menu in the UK is so fucked.

 

Trial an error like everyone else, I prefer the AMERICANO

 

I just needed a place to submit my essay, power in my flat went out and the deadline was within 3 hours. Starbucks was closer than Costa unfortunately

 

o dat sucks. Is iCafe only in Glasgow? Thats where I liked to go, they even had a printer there you could use.

 

This is a cookie Biscuits are for dogs!

 

Didn't your school have a computer room for students, lol?

 

My uni is a 1 hour train journey away.

 

You could sit outside of the Starbucks and use the Wifi. Could you have done that?

 

Never heard of it. Why would you need a printer in a cafe though?

It literally says biscuit on the image you obtuse swine, is my Cola cake a cookie?

 

A typo?

 

I guess I could have, but who wants to be writing an essay on a crowded road?

 

Isn't there a sidewalk surrounding the Starbucks? I would have just sat on the ground. *shrugs*